Subbing at Devotion

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So much anxiety about subbing at devotion.  What if I don’t like subbing? what if I don’t like teaching? What if everyone hates me? What if I’m terrible at teaching and subbing? What if I’m an abject failure at everything I do but now in the future in perpetuity? But eventually exhaustion will put you out of your misery.

The morning is so much better.  You’re just too sleepy to care much about anything.  Your brain is just on enough to do your morning chores.  It’s in no way pleasant, but that’s mornings for you.  The morning was cold, the subway crowded, and entirely normal.  I met with the principal who seemed very  nice.  She walked me to my classroom and I awaited children.

Children show up and the first thing they want to know is am I the new sub.  The second thing they want to know is, I am the permanent sub.  They’ve had subs for a little over a month since their normal teacher went on emergency medical leave related to a pregnancy.  The curriculum left to them was to answer the section review questions for chapter three in their science book.  The kids has mostly already completed that so we mostly just ran an independent study hall.  The kids were great.  They loved the fact that their sub new science.  Apparently, Tim, their last sub was angry and frustrated them, and wasn’t great with the science.  It may be shallow and petty and one should never put stock in the opinion of tweens, but they thought I was kind of awesome.

Anyway it’s very reaffirming.  I’m good at my job.  I like my job.  And they like me.   I hope the teaching license comes through because I think that’ll open the kinds of doors that I want to walk through.

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