What I vowed to my wife in public… sorta

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While looking for a pancake recipe I found the final version of my written vows.  I know for a fact that I was too emotional to really do them justice on our wedding.  Since, neither of us remember what the other said, we’ll just pretend the speech came out like this.

Vows Final.

I’ve spent the last 6 months thinking about what I would say at this moment.  I had a Shakespearean Hamlet thing going for a while about the nature of choices, but it didn’t really seem wedding appropriate.  I had a little thing about the socio-historical context of wedding vows, but that was boring even for me.  I had some cutsie romantic stuff for a while but I really hated that one.  I went to some basic promises but they were generally utilitarian in nature.  As in I promise to talk things out and negotiate major life decisions and so on.  Besides I’ve already made my promises to you.  After all, if my love and fidelity were in any kind of doubt we wouldn’t be here.  And most recently I had some very flattering and complementary things to say about you and why I loved you.  But then I realized that since the hooting of monkeys became human speech, all our best poets and philosophers have tried to describe the ineffable human experience without a a great deal of success.  This moment has thrown in sharp relief all those things that are ineffable, inexplicable, and indescribable in a very intimate and horribly public fashion (look at audience).  So here it is.  This is my promise.  I vow to explore with you the strange and wonderful moments of the human experience.  OF OUR experience.  All the moments great and small unique or banal.  That together we’ll explore the whole of creation.

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